What is toxic masculinity?

‘Toxic masculinity’ is a term that often crops up in cultural discourse nowadays, especially online.

But what are the causes of it, and what propagates it? 

Toxic masculinity is the harmful aspect of the stereotypical behaviour that is expected of men. It is like the web of a venomous spider that restricts what men are allowed or not allowed to do until the spider of societal pressure inevitably consumes them. 

General traits associated with toxic masculinity are men being expected to not show emotional vulnerability and resorting to aggression and intimidation to get their way. They are also expected to not be too “feminine” in their habits and hobbies, and even deeming things such as misogyny and homophobia or queerphobia acceptable. 

Phrases such as “boys will be boys,” “man up,” “real men don’t cry,” are commonly associated with toxic masculinity.

Certain factors can amplify toxic masculine traits. But there is no single source, as toxic masculinity is deep-rooted in outdated patriarchal beliefs, specific cultures, and traditions. In many cases, the propagation of these beliefs and mindsets begins at home as toxic behavioural patterns are learned from the male figures children grow around. This includes fathers, uncles, brothers, and friends.

People who were raised in families or backgrounds where women are treated as lesser to men may have absorbed some of these ideas as norms. And, as children, we cannot blame them for being imprinted by their caregivers. But we must also hold them accountable for their beliefs as adults because these beliefs have no place in this day and age. 

Children also adopt toxic masculine behaviours from peers in school or adults around them who aren’t a part of their family, such as teachers. This is not to say that peers and teachers actively propagate toxic masculinity, as it depends on individual views and beliefs. In some cases, these beliefs can develop on their own or via exposure to this ideology from the internet or social media. 

The toll toxic masculinity has on men’s mental health cannot be overstated. Being unable to express their feelings and emotions safely and securely can lead to a lot of pent-up aggression and build-up of negative emotions. Sometimes, it can also influence self-destructive thoughts, behaviours, drug use, or alcoholism. Men and male-identifying individuals mostly suffer from toxic masculinity as they are often left to feel like they aren’t “manly enough” or don’t conform to stereotypes well enough to pass as a male in our society.

Plenty of statistics regarding male violence and mental illnesses show why education about and prevention of these ideologies are crucial to avoiding such tragedies. In the United States, male suicide rates are higher than females, approximately “3.63x as often,” as stated by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. 

Even simple things such as primary self-care have been deemed “too feminine,” and the glorification of harmful and destructive habits is perpetuated by toxic masculinity. Men might be less likely to seek help for mental illnesses and addictions as it might be viewed as a “sign of weakness.” 

As a society and for our betterment, these beliefs and ideologies must be condemned and nipped in the bud. Toxic masculinity has caused much suffering, not only to women but also to men themselves. I believe that it is in our best interest to let such toxic behaviours and attitudes rot in the past where they belong. We should strive to make it easier for men and male-identifying individuals to feel comfortable and secure in their masculinity and not feel like they must constantly prove themselves.

This cannot be done alone, as men, women, and everyone in between must come together to make any change of significance, including tearing down the parts of mainstream society and culture that upholds toxic masculinity and patriarchal beliefs.

Reporter's Age: 14 District: Dhaka