Our childhood shapes who we are, and it is essential to heal our inner child

The experiences of our childhood account for many of our fears and beliefs. Here’s how to confront it

Life is full of incident, and sometimes, we get so lost in the day-to-day rush that what’s going on inside is just as important as what’s on the surface. Life becomes more difficult if we don’t take the time to attend to the needs of our hearts and minds.

The last time I struggled, I came across a beautiful piece of advice – take the time to heal your inner child.

The inner child is a reflection of all our childhood experiences and other incidents that have a lasting impact on our lives. Looking back, we can see that many of our most central fears, the beliefs that hold us back, and our very perspective on life are inextricably linked to those early events.

For me, it was bullying. I had a giant target on my back from kindergarten to fifth grade. I never knew what was going on. I couldn’t stand up for myself. The very concept was foreign to me – I was 6!

Even in seventh grade, I didn’t dare to speak out. A new teacher was lecturing, and I followed it by making bullet points in my book. He saw me and thought I was drawing cartoons while ignoring his words. He didn’t check once. He just started yelling. I couldn’t speak up.

Even thinking about it now, my blood boils.

It wasn’t until the age of 20 that I was confident enough to defend myself. I learned that I had a choice. I could fight back. I still consciously practice it. I teach myself again and again, so I never forget it.

All those years of bullying took a toll. I was riddled with social anxiety, fear of making friends, and dread that people would take advantage of me. Soon, this fear spread to other areas of my life. It took me 12 years to realise that it was the thing that genuinely controlled my life.

Now and then, I still have dreams of revenge. But revenge isn’t a true path forward. We all know that.

We can’t go back and change the past. But we can heal. We can show the younger versions of ourselves that we have grown and changed.

“Hey!” I can say. “Look at me. I’m standing up for myself. Isn’t that amazing?”

But it doesn’t have to be a series of difficult internal conversations. Healing our inner child can be fun too.

One thing we can do is to get in touch with the things we loved when we were young. I loved to draw and paint. Especially paint. I loved playing with colours. But I had nearly forgotten until one day, I thought about what I used to do as a child.

My paintings popped up, so I grabbed a pencil and some colours and went to work. It was honestly therapeutic.

I painted a tree. I love trees. I wish you could go up to trees and hug them, and people wouldn’t think you were weird. One day, I will overcome my social anxiety and write about how I go around hugging trees.

You can write a letter to your younger self, talking about what a wonderful person they are and what a fantastic person they grew up to be. You can even write about a particular event from your childhood. When you’re older, it’s easier to understand a situation more clearly. You can see different perspectives too. You can shed light on what you didn’t understand as a child. Maybe you can stop blaming yourself for things out of your control. Doing so can give you closure.

Loving your inner child will help you forgive yourself for your mistakes and let go of the pain of the things you can’t change.

You can even talk to a young picture of yourself and tell them you love them. It might seem cringy but don’t give up. It actually helps.

It doesn’t matter at what stage of life we decide to take this step. The fact that we understand the problem and are working to fix it is terrific in and of itself. I believe that we are all following a divine sense of timing. Nothing is ever revealed to us too soon or too late. It always comes about at the right time. So, take the chance to help yourself grow, bloom, and live to your fullest potential.

This article is part of Stripe, bdnews24.com's special publication focusing on culture and society from a youth perspective.