Many common misconceptions about depression minimise its difficulties and trivialise its genuine impact
Published : 19 Jul 2023, 07:48 PM
Public awareness about mental health has improved in recent years. However, many common conditions are still misunderstood, and their stigma remains.
One common issue, depression, can be mishandled by those who do not have direct experience with it and do not understand its effects. Because depression is internal, people often misjudge the extent of the emotional agony and inner turmoil experienced by those affected. Popular misconceptions portray depression as just a state of being sad or a lack of drive and initiative. These ideas can lead people to make dismissive or inappropriate responses to those suffering from depression, telling them to 'snap out of it' or 'just think positively'.
Depression is also unusual because it is an illness where people want to know your qualifications. Whenever someone says they are depressed, people always respond with something like, "What do you have to be depressed about?"
However, that is where the main issue comes from. There is often no simple, clear, or justifiable reason for it. That is why it is called clinical depression. If there was a simple reason, it would just be a case of justifiable sadness.
But even those who mean well can make unsolicited suggestions that do not address the major issues, like pursuing positive thinking, probiotics, and meditation. Mental illness is also its own unique problem. For most physical ailments, people are immediately sympathetic. But when the issue is mental health, the social stigma kicks in, inspiring feelings of repulsion and disgust among outsiders to the experience.
So, what is the proper way to talk to someone with depression? The answer may not be talking at all but listening. The act of kind and compassionate listening helps people to tell you their personal experiences and struggles. It is important not to be too eager to push forward a solution - unless that is encouraging them to consider therapy (because therapy is awesome, and everyone should try it if they can).
The truth is a person experiencing depression has spent a lot of time trying to solve the problem and has probably attempted and dismissed many common ideas that someone with little experience can devise. However, it is possible to encourage people to take action without trying to 'fix' them. It is in our nature to try to cheer up sad people or help them. But depression is a complex and persistent issue. It doesn't go away with a simple pep talk.
Still, you can be supportive. You can let them know you have their back, ask them if they would like you to do anything, or encourage them to believe that they have a future outside of depression.
It is, however, best to refrain from aphorisms like "look on the bright side", "we all go through times like this", or "fixing depression is just as easy as mind over matter".
When interacting with someone with depression, you should also take care not to neglect yourself. Those who are naturally empathetic or susceptible to the emotions of others can find themselves drawn into the problem and may have difficulty separating themselves and possibly even succumbing to similar depressive tendencies in extreme cases. I've definitely had some personal experiences where I tried to be there for someone with depression but allowed their illness to affect my mental state as well. It was a mistake that hurt me and the person I was trying to help.
So set boundaries and consider how to protect yourself, even when trying to help someone else.
The most important thing when trying to reach someone with depression is that everybody wants to be heard. Allowing people to tell you their stories, listening to them compassionately, and taking their problems seriously can be a great help and make a massive difference to their lives.
That may sound simple and obvious, but it is surprising how rarely it happens.
This article is part of Stripe, bdnews24.com's special publication focusing on culture and society from a youth perspective.