To all the kids who cried when they graduated from school, I feel your pain now.
Published : 20 Apr 2023, 08:00 PM
Life can be hard. And, as much as we'd like help easing into the roles of who we are, who we're meant to be, and the responsibilities we take on, life can come at you fast.
When young adults, especially those lucky enough to have a comfortable upbringing, try to discuss the difficulties of transitioning from childhood to adulthood, they can be dismissed. But the doe-eyed first years of university can indeed be a shock for people who were just schoolchildren.
Those who have been through it already know the anxiety. There are new faces everywhere, your guard's up, and you have a creeping sense of loneliness as you try to figure out who you will trust for the next few years.
If you're like me, your school was a safe space where you could learn and grow. Being around the same people all your life not only made things predictable but also comfortable. There's a reason why school friends are part of so many of our fondest memories, even when other aspects of school life can be challenging.
But, if school roots you in place, university life is where you branch out and see if you can withstand life's storms. For many, it is when we push past childhood comfort to adult independence and responsibility. University is when reality sets in.
It can feel like your feet are on two boats going in opposite directions. The bottom falls out from under you.
I enrolled in university a few months after completing my A levels last year. During that short break in education, I got the chance to teach at the school I had just graduated from.
Going back to school felt simultaneously nostalgic and bizarre. I could feel myself putting down roots again as the attachment grew stronger, but it was very odd to work alongside the same teachers who had seen me grow up, treating me with respect as a colleague and giving me a whole new set of life lessons.
It's been a year since I ended my short teaching stint, but the feelings of that time still linger.
I thought that would be it, but things kept calling me back to school. I kept feeling like I was putting on the uniform one last time. There was the actual graduation ceremony, but then there were a multitude of award shows where I saw many familiar faces. And, since I still live in the neighbourhood, I keep running into people from school I've known for years. Sometimes it feels like aeons since I was there, and, at others, like no time has passed at all.
Transitions are strange. One minute I'm back on the school campus, reliving memories of water fights and wild games of hide and seek. The next moment I'm rushing across the university campus, late to class because I was reminiscing about a place I no longer belong.
Maybe it'll just take time for the school spirit to leech from my bones and the varsity vibe to creep in. But, right now, my impostor syndrome is on high alert.
It's hard to believe I'm too old for school. I keep waiting for the shoe to drop and for things to get real. And when they do – how will I ever survive?
How do you adult, anyway?
This article is part of Stripe, bdnews24.com's special publication focusing on culture and society from a youth perspective.