Active listening with empathy and compassion: a crucial first step in preventing deaths by suicide

Experts recommend taking people seriously and seeking professional help immediately if they have suicidal thoughts or behaviour

The recent deaths of three university students by suicide in Bangladesh within a week have turned the spotlight on the pressing need to address mental health issues that students face.

Experts recommend that if someone expresses suicidal thoughts or behaviours, it is essential to take them seriously and seek professional help immediately.

They emphasise active listening with empathy and compassion that can help the people having suicidal thoughts feel heard and understood, a crucial first step in getting the help they need.

On Apr 4, police recovered the hanging body of Arafat Siam, a physics student at Jahangirnagar University who resided in Mir Mosharraf Hossain Hall, after he posted on Facebook about feeling unable to describe what he had gone through and expressing a desire to remain in a certain world forever.

“I can't describe I have gone through what, even I don’t want to ... I just wanted to remain in that world forever. To go there permanently, maybe the death of the physical body is the only solution.”

Just three days after Siam's death, Nabil Haider, 26, a political science student in the 2017-18 session of Dhaka University who resided at Salimullah Muslim Hall, was found dead, and it is believed that he, too, had taken his own life.

Nabil, a former library and publication secretary of DU Chhatra League, the student wing of the ruling Awami League, posted 'Goodbye' on his Facebook wall before his death. His classmates said he had asked his father for money to buy a motorcycle, but he was upset when he did not get it.

On Apr 8, the body of a fourth-semester management department student, Rokeya Sultana Ruku, 22, was found hanging in Shamsun Nahar Hall of Chattogram University.

Rokeya was unable to take some exams due to her illness, and her classmates later said that she had cried while discussing her "depression".

The untimely deaths allegedly by suicide of these university students, regardless of the reasons, have brought immense sorrow to their families.

According to psychologists and experts, unexpressed anger, insufficient real-life friendships outside of social media, family isolation, and lack of counselling contribute to suicidal tendencies in the long run.

It is essential to identify these issues and take appropriate social and state measures to prevent such incidents.

Tansen Rose, the founding president of Aachol Foundation, said that when expectations do not meet reality, disappointment can occur, leading to depression, which can sometimes result in deaths by suicide. The voluntary organisation was established in 2019 to reduce deaths by suicide and promote mental health in the country

Tansen, speaking to bdnews24.com, said that death by suicide is often not caused by a single event but is the result of long-term issues and grievances that have built up over time. These problems can gradually accumulate until they become unbearable and trigger suicidal behaviour.

SUICIDE IN BANGLADESH

In 2022, at least 532 students from schools, colleges, and universities in Bangladesh died by suicide, according to a survey conducted by Aachol Foundation based on media reports.

The majority of the victims were school students, making up 64 percent or 340 individuals. The rest were 106 college-level students, 54 from madrasas and at least 86 from universities.

The organisation's survey from the previous year found that 101 university students died by suicide, of which 62 (61.39 percent) were from public universities, 12 (11.88 percent) from medical colleges and universities, four (3.96 percent) were from engineering universities, and 23 (22.77 percent) were from private universities.

Aachol reported that the highest number of student deaths by suicide occurred at Dhaka University, with nine students taking their own lives that year. Additionally, six students from Jagannath University, five from the Shahjalal University of Science and Technology, and four from Rajshahi University also chose to end their lives.

WHAT LEADS TO SUICIDE?

According to Tansen, the trend of suicide has increased in the country since the COVID-19 pandemic struck in 2020.

He believes that family issues, financial crises, and other factors are contributing to the rise in deaths by suicide among students.

Tansen stated that when someone who is already suffering from depression hears about another person dying by suicide, it may give them the courage to do the same.

He highlighted that many students are susceptible to suicide, and the month that receives the most attention for suicide is often the same month with the highest number of cases due to a sense of sensationalism surrounding the issue.

Kamal Uddin Ahmed Chowdhury, an associate professor of clinical psychology at Dhaka University, disagrees with the notion that someone can be driven to suicide solely by news of suicide on social media.

He believes that news of others' suicides may influence someone who is already considering suicide, but it may not necessarily trigger them to die by suicide.

"Those who are contemplating suicide may do so regardless of what they see on social media. In the past, suicide notes were often left behind. Social media has simply become an alternative platform for such messages."

He mentioned that the surge in suicide cases is a global phenomenon and not limited to Bangladesh, with the impact of the pandemic being a contributing factor, along with complex relationships and other issues.

According to him, the reasons behind deaths by suicide are unique to each individual and cannot be generalised.

“Mental health issues, such as depression, can contribute to suicide. For instance, the person who committed suicide in Jahangirnagar University had underlying mental health issues.”

He believes that families often force things onto their children without considering their emotions and tend to focus on their failures.

If these practices can be stopped, he believes it may prevent deaths by suicide to some extent.

Zia Rahman, a professor at DU's criminology department, believes that a lack of social bond and solidarity is a contributing factor to the increase in cases of death by suicide.

According to Zia, American criminologist Travis Hirschi proposed the theory of social bonding, which suggests that the presence of four elements can reduce deviant behaviour, especially among young people.

These four elements are attachment, involvement in prosocial activities, commitment, and belief. Hirschi referred to these as the building blocks of social bonds.

Émile Durkheim, the founder of the theory of suicide, said a lack of social solidarity can lead to deviant behaviour, with suicide being the most extreme form, Zia said. “Social bonding and solidarity are synonymous, and when individuals are separated from them, they no longer feel a sense of right or wrong.”

Zia said that society is currently undergoing a rapid change and transitioning from traditional to modern values, but this transformation is not yet complete.

He mentioned that traditional values still hold influence on society and that modern values are not fully embraced.

“We are living in a time of great instability and turbulence because the old rules are no longer relevant, and our modern society lacks the necessary institutions for moral development.”

MEASURES TO IMPLEMENT

According to Zia, developed countries have established alternative institutions, including support systems and volunteer programmes.

For instance, after finishing summer classes, children work in volunteer activities for four months, earning a minimum wage and receiving a certificate that can be beneficial for their future employment., he added.

“In an attempt to cultivate human qualities even within a capitalist society, they have established initiatives such as community libraries for young children and family-style day care programmes.”

The teacher remarked that there are currently no such activities available in the country, with neither the government nor the society having established laws or support systems to address the issue.

Zia expressed concern over the lack of motivation to support victims of gender-based violence in a timely manner.

He believes that the youth spend too much time on social media, specifically Facebook and that there is a lack of cultural and co-curricular activities to help them develop their mindset.

This obsession is causing instability in them, leading to isolation and drug addiction, he said.

He said that obsession and depression can also cause decreased social bonding and cohesion, which can eventually result in suicide.

THEY NEED TO BE HEARD

In the past, people only considered physical illnesses as the cause of death by suicide, said Mahjabeen Haque, a professor at Dhaka University's education and counselling psychology department.

However, the post-COVID era has brought about alarming increases in depression, stress, and loneliness, particularly among young people worldwide, she said.

As a result, people's mental states have undergone a significant change, she said.

According to Mahjabeen, the state of our mental health can be influenced by various factors, including our patience, expectations, and economic conditions.

The recent incidents of death by suicide emphasise the importance of prioritising mental health and paying attention to these aspects of our lives.

The professor believes that family bondings have now become significantly disrupted.

Mahjabeen also noted that a lack of emotional support within families is a major contributor to deaths by suicide.

With hundreds of Facebook friends, individuals may lack a real friend with whom they can confide personal matters.

According to the psychologist, people who become isolated due to depression often struggle to find someone to confide in.

She believes that if they have someone to talk to, they may not act on their suicidal thoughts.

Mahjabeen emphasises the importance of carefully listening to people who express suicidal thoughts, as taking their words seriously can reduce the incidence of suicide.

If someone posts a concerning message on Facebook, it is essential to reach out to them promptly, she said.

“Friends and family members should stay in touch with them to understand their current mental state.”

According to Tansen, the youth today lack a platform to express themselves openly, which has led to pent-up frustration and anger.

“Educational institutions should provide spaces where students can be empathetically heard, such as counselling centres that offer regular check-ins with students.”

Tansen suggested counselling for every student every six months, not just when they have mental health problems. Departments should have platforms that listen to students regularly, he suggested.

Tansen believes that having student advisors in different university departments is not a practical solution if students do not feel comfortable discussing their issues with them.

He suggested that a teacher with a solid understanding of mental health, compassion towards students, and an approachable personality should be appointed as a student advisor.

Tansen recommended facilitating communication between students and teachers or interns from the psychology or clinical psychology department could be beneficial in mitigating the risks of deaths by suicide among students.

[Writing in English by Arshi Fatiha Quazi; editing by Osham-ul-Sufian Talukder]