Stifled potential makes Lane Kim one of the most heartbreaking parts of 'Gilmore Girls'

The character's long struggle with her musical talent and the crushing weight of family and social expectation lingers with me

I've probably seen Gilmore Girls 100 times, but every time I start a re-watch of Amy Sherman-Palladino's bubbly, articulate comedy-drama, I find something new to love.

This time, I couldn't help but think of Lane Kim and how far she could go if she weren't held down by the weight of society, circumstance, and the overwhelming presence of her conservative mother.

Played by the deft Keiko Agena, Lane is the best friend of our lead character Rory Gilmore. From the first episode, she captivates with her wit, unwavering loyalty to Rory, and deep passion for music. But, as we learn about her throughout the series, it becomes clear that Lane struggles with the expectations of her traditional Korean immigrant parents.

One of the more heartbreaking aspects of the show is how Lane tries to develop and express her love for music despite her family's disapproval. Though conflicted, she continues to practice drumming while hiding in her closet and performing with her secret band Hep Alien. Her musical talent is undeniable, and one can't help but imagine what incredible heights she could have reached if she had been encouraged and supported in her musical pursuits.

Lane's story is a stark reminder that social barriers can still stand in the way of a person's dreams and ambitions, even in a town as idyllic and charming as Stars Hollow.

With its quaint and close-knit community, Stars Hollow embraces and confines Lane. The town's warmth is like a comforting hug, but it can also feel suffocating, as though it is boxing in the scope of her dreams. While she cherishes the friendships she has built there, she also yearns for a world beyond its borders, where she can spread her wings and soar to unimaginable heights.

The emotional depth of Lane's character lies in the sacrifices she makes to appease her family's expectations. Each choice she makes, every step she takes, is tinged with the bittersweet taste of compromise. She buries her desires beneath layers of smiles and nods, hiding her aspirations behind laughter and witty comebacks. Yet, despite her struggles, Lane's love for her family remains unwavering, even as it clashes with her own dreams.

Lane's relationship with Rory also adds another wrinkle to her character. The two have a strong bond built on years of friendship and mutual understanding. But Rory's privileged and academically-driven life sharply contrasts with Lane's upbringing. Rory enjoys the luxury of attending an elite preparatory school like Chilton and later the prestigious Yale University. She gets to have it all her way, from academic opportunities to extracurricular pursuits. Lane, in contrast, attends a Seventh-day Adventist college – a strict religious school – to appease her mother. Lane looks at Rory with hope, admiration, and a tinge of jealousy. Her path is nowhere near as clear-cut or straightforward.

In many ways, Lane Kim isn't just a character in a beloved TV show. She reflects the untold stories of countless people whose potential could never be realised due to the burden of familial and financial constraints. She is constantly wrestling with her identity, whether to reject her family to pursue her dreams or be the stifled person her parents want her to be. It is a sharp, painful, and all too familiar story that still resonates decades after the show's premiere.

This article is part of Stripe, bdnews24.com's special publication focusing on culture and society from a youth perspective.